Holy smokes, that means I’ve officially spent more time with my wife – than without!
And well, with 25 years there’s obviously been good times and bad times.
I believe when life is fully examined, no amount of bad can offset the good, no matter how hard the devil tries. And boy has he.
– nor all fun in the sun
– and it didn’t start off too great either
– having a fall out the night of our blind date
– me passed out drunk (on her stuff), then being woken violently
– pulled to the floor, leaving me cursing
– and ready to get into a fist fight with my buddy’s roommate
– whom I already didn’t like.
I would even say, he was eager to mess with me,
– and Wendy just didn’t know the history.
I wasn’t expecting to ever see her again – and I wasn’t too broken up about it.
But you see, God had a plan and no matter how many times I’ve tried, He wasn’t going to let me ruin it.
In fact, the more I failed, trying to do it all on my own, the more he used circumstance after circumstance (repeat) to pound it into my stubborn head – that Wendy was part of God’s plan for me, she’s His gift to me (in all things), she is all the things that I am not, and through Him, makes me whole. Makes US whole.
I’m not really sure what urged me to call her a week or two later – and apologize for that evening and my rude behavior, I mean, I had no reason to be upset with her, it was all over a misunderstanding.
I had no idea – that night – that I was sleeping on her stuff (things that came from past trauma in her life, things very dear to her), nor did she know – by asking someone for help, not wanting to wake me up herself, that the person she asked was literally THE worst person when it came to the social dynamics of that house. JEFF the tweaker was the nickname I gave him. He’s not here tonight, we never became friends (sad face).
She forgave me and even suggested giving it another shot, she invited me over to her place for dinner. And it was a great second date. A couple movies and a great parmesan style chicken dinner. I also got to meet my second love too, Lindi Lou, she had just turned 1. Little did I know, 2 more loves of my life were in the near future.
Now, Wendy isn’t perfect either, she brings a lot to the table, without getting into the weeds, having a much more traumatic past and lot’s of health problems, but we made a promise to each other, for better or for worse right?
In fact, early in our marriage – there was a time when I did leave her – in another state entirely, but God said nope, that’s not my plan for you two Phil.
– to show His hand in our marriage,
– giving my father a vision in prayer,
– and sharing with me exactly the events that what would transpire in the future when meeting back up w/ Wendy to work out our separation.
He told me, if these things happen, it’s a sign from God!
A few days after leaving, in an airport parking lot in Idaho, we were both determined to leave each other, meeting one last time to then go our separate ways – but that’s not what happened – exactly just like my Dad’s vision, the events at that airport perfectly aligned with the sign my dad said that God was going to give me, that Wendy was His plan for me and to step up to my calling, to love her, support her and to be her husband.
She flew back to California with me. My Dad had even purchased the extra ticket ahead of time without revealing to me prior – that had done so.
My beautiful wife has given me 2 more “loves of my life”, Amber Lynn and Brandon Michael.
We still go through trials, ebbs and flows, but we tackle each of them together – seeking daily – to put God first in everything we do.
It’s because of this faith and the constant seeking to grow closer in all things Christ Jesus, that our marriage has lasted and there isn’t another person I would rather do this with. I love her more every day that passes, but seriously, God’s made himself clear, we’re stuck with each other, it’s His plan.
I love you so much Wendy, here’s to another 25 years baby!